Republicans, Democrats, and the PGMOL...
The race for Stockley Park is heating up.
In scenes mirroring the US election, the Premier League constituency has been split in half by a white male speaking in derogatory terms about an immigrant.
Earlier today a video allegedly featuring Premier League referee David Coote was leaked on social media platform X (formerly known as Twitter), in which the match official spoke candidly about former Liverpool boss, Jurgen Klopp.
Random coked-up bloke: That Liverpool game when you were fourth official?
Premier League referee: Umm, Liverpool where shit.
Random coked-up bloke: What do you think of Jurgen Klopp?
Premier League referee: Cunt, absolute fucking cunt.
Random coked-up bloke: Why would you say that Jurgen Klopp was a cunt?
Premier League referee: Umm, aside from having a right pop at me when I refereed them against Burnley in lockdown. Then he accused me of lying…I’ve got no interest speaking to somebody who’s fucking arrogant. So, I do my best not to speak to him. Milner’s alright…But, oh my god, German cunt, fuck me. `
Random coked-up bloke: Long story short, Jurgen Klopp’s a cunt, Liverpool are all fucking bell-ends.
Later, in a separate video, David Coote did the equivalent of fleeing from the scene of the crime at low speed for 90 minutes.
Premier League referee: Just to be clear, that fucking last video can’t go anywhere, seriously
Random coked-up bloke: He’s a Premier League referee, let’s not fucking ruin the blokes career, like, let’s face it, we’re good blokes, we can’t ruin a blokes career, we’re not that bad, also, he’s a fucking legend.
The similarities with the US election don’t stop there, early opinion polls appear to have the country split.
48% of respondents to our online poll came to the defence of the beleaguered official, the overwhelming majority of which (84%) believe there should be no punishment for telling the truth, and that free speech is the backbone of our society.
While, on the other hand, 46% showcased a strong outpouring of offence-empathy on behalf of the Gegenpressing master, demanding the nation be more open minded towards those from other backgrounds — even going as far as to offer Jurgen a bed to sleep in should he need it during this tough, inhumane time, though, of course, not at their house. A small, but vocal minority (12%) is calling for David Coote to be cancelled without delay.
Time will tell how the PGMOL — the organisation that oversees referees in the English professional leagues — act. As of 17:00 local time they were refusing to make any further comment when contacted by The Tactical Yellow, however, there have been unsubstantiated reports Howard Webb, head of the PGMOL was seen giving it the Shimmy at his local Weatherspoons before 18:00.
More to come on this story when we have it…